So you’re telling me that somehow… through some kind of mystical magic, you’ll be traveling and taking a ton of trips by the end of these two months, just because it’s up there, pinned against your wall? “Yes!” she exclaimed. “Of course I will! These pictures have already happened to me. They aren’t just prints stuck there to look aesthetic.” Her certainty made me laugh at first. I mean, how could a collage of paper and push pins decide your fate? I’d always rolled my eyes at the whole manifestation-meets-dreams club.

Then came the signs.

“Tiaaa, see! The charm looks exactly like the one I put up in my picture!”

“Uhh… okay… mere coincidence, I guess.”

“Tiaaa, I got the internship I pinned on the board!” “Okay okay, damn…”

“Tiaaa, I’ll be travelling to Jaipur and then Bangalore for my research papers and the hackathon I just won!”

Somewhere between all her excited updates and my skeptical shrugs, a part of me softened. Maybe...just mayyybeee... I could give this a try.

You see..I had been in a very negative space for the past year and a half. The things I loved the most..playing my guitar, singing, writing, designing; I started questioning all of it. Whether I was on the right path. Whether I was good enough. My self-criticism became this constant hum in the background and reached a point where every single day felt like a wall I had to break through.

Waking up anxiety-stricken. Crying post-lunch. Feeling small, defeated and guilty for existing in a pause. Telling my parents and friends that I needed a drop year and yes, many things led to that ..many.. which is something we can talk about later. But as my friends and my parents advised, I needed something to take my mind off things. Something to detox. Something that was just mine.

So when my roommate mentioned making a vision board, it didn’t sound as silly anymore. I remember thinking, what’s the harm in trying?So I picked up a pen and paper and drew all the things I aspired to do and become. I sketched my vision, scrolled through Pinterest, printed pictures and made my board. Yes, I was skeptical..of course I was.

But you know what? Slowly, things started to change.From a negative space, I began to move toward an optimistic one. Somehow, things just started happening.

I wished to attend a jazz show; to feel like I was in some dimly lit New York street, in a pub with brass instruments and laughter.. and it happened. With timid hands, I added tennis to my board. I never thought, in my wildest dreams, I’d pick up my racket again. But somehow, my project’s direction led me there and there I was, serving, hitting, reading, playing.

It became my day and night.

And tonight — it hit me.

Because one of the pictures on that board was of sky lanterns floating into the night. I remember adding it, thinking, it just looked pretty and yet, here I was; standing with my friend, holding a free flying lantern we’d gotten by pure coincidence. We watched it rise ..glowing, weightless ..soaring higher and higher until it disappeared into the black velvet sky.

And I felt it; that same quiet faith she had when she said, “These pictures have already happened to me.”

I guess I understand now.

I believe... more than seeing it as “magic,” this vision board helped me find happiness and excitement even in the tiniest things that came close to the pictures I’d pinned.

I started feeling… satisfied.

I bet if I hadn’t put up those pictures and the same events had happened in my life, I wouldn’t have noticed them...not the way I do now.

I just want to say that I’m deeply grateful to the people who helped me through that phase, when I felt defeated in so many ways and helped me find my way back, helped me find a little optimism again.

Yep. That’s that. It’s been too long since I let this out of my heart.

Love,

Tee.

(P.s - Yes, roommate...calm your “I told you so.” I still don’t believe in the whole manifestation circus, okay? and I didn’t put up this vision board for the same reasons you did. But somehow… it still worked its way into my life)

Hiii people! I am posting after a realllllllllyyyyy long time! I think I'll be turning this Blog page into an e-journal now and I promise I'll post more frequently ..hehe love Tee;